Thursday, March 8, 2007

Go out and make the world a better place kids

Oh wait, you can't afford to do that. You have student loans and lots of them. This education isn't free kiddo. Yep, we lured you here with high-minded ideas about truth and justice, but we didn't want you to go out and actually help those poor people! We do an annual clothing drive for them, and the 10 sweaters law students donate is enough charity, isn't it? Those clinics happen to focus on social justice issues, but the real purpose is to prepare you to get jobs working at Wal Mart corporate HQ.

You want to work at Legal Aid now? Oh no! You can't do that. See, we made sure that you've got $100,000 in debt. Those Legal Aid people will only pay you $28,000. Do the math bleeding heart liberal - you can't pay back that monstrous debt with $28,000 per year! The joke's on you do-gooder. When we talk about public interest law, we are talking about wanting to help the underprivileged - we don't actually want you to take a job doing that! Wake up and smell the poverty 1L. It's time to sell out.

Why the heck did you take that summer job at Legal Services? They aren't paying you a dime. While your classmates are good little boys and girls and took firm jobs that pay $2,500 a week, we are going to have to give you a $2,500 grant for the whole summer so you can at least pay your rent, you pitiful slacker.

After you graduate, if you keep this up, we will try and make the world think that we give a damn with our lousy LRAP. The year after you are done with this place, we are gonna kick in $978.00 toward your student loans so that the rest of the world thinks we care about you and what you are doing. Don't be fooled we don't. After that, you are on your own. I know that we recruited you saying we wanted our students to be compassionate and go out and make the world a better place, but we didn't mean it. Now buck up and get your ass over to Dewey, Cheatem and Howe and get a real job!


Your Law School

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