Ouch!

I feel like I am becoming a prime example of why we need health care reform in this country. I lost my health insurance (the one that cost me about $150 a month from the university) in mid-August.

Now I have noticed that when I jog or go for a long (over a half hour) walk, pain radiates around my right foot. That's the same foot that I dropped a box on a month ago when we were moving. But the toe itself doesn't hurt, it just looks a little swollen.

I have also had a mystery abdominal pain today. I am assuming it's because I ate some bad fish or something, but the thought of not being able to get any of this checked out unless I suffer a bureaucratic nightmare with the public assistance office bugs me. So I have pretty much put off looking into that. But I am going to have to, on Tuesday.

It's probably psychological, but these little mystery ailments are annoying me. So is the fact that so many selfish people in this country would rather see others suffer than pay an extra penny of tax money. Even though their own health care could improve, and they might not ever have to pay more for it. I just think that people who are comfortable and who have money forget what it's like to not have much, or never have experienced that at all.

A former classmate of mine indicated in a facebook post that people were doing "risk assessment" to decide whether the risk of having a health problem was worth paying for health insurance. However, his equation is based on his own experience as the child of an attorney, who has never been impoverished or without insurance in his whole life. And future leaders like my classmates are the ones that could be setting policy in this country in the years to come. And that scares me more than pain in my foot or tummy ever could.

Hello....Hello Hello is there anybody out there?

Sometimes, I use my blog like a diary, then remember that other people can and sometimes do read this thing. It's difficult to worry about what I write when I am not even sure anyone is reading it.

I sometimes wish that I had a whole bunch of readers so that I would be inspired to actually carefully consider what I write, and maybe even edit stuff before I post it. I think I am going to try at least for now, to marginally increase my readership by commenting on some other law student/law grad blogs. I could use the company.

Going too far

Yep, I am totally desperate for a job. But I have to keep reminding myself that I went to law school for a reason, and that reason didn't include doing icky things like insurance defense. I just can't and I won't. I applied for a job that a friend of a friend recommended, and it turns out that the guy doesn't want someone to do "some family law and contracts work." It's insurance defense and some collections.

There is a line to be drawn, and for me, it's right there. I just can't spend my days helping insurance companies cut/reduce/eliminate benefits to people. Blech!

Awesome site for goofing around online

Mensa has a great site filled with "brain teaser" games. I had no idea! These games are keeping me company while I waste a beautiful day fretting about the mail.

Check out the games by clicking here.

I really liked the "hangman" type game called "Wordsense" and the awesome trivia game.

Waiting for rejection letters to arrive

I had 4 different jobs that were supposed to "let me know" by the end of the month. Today is the end of the month. I have not received telephone calls from these potential employers, which obviously means that they hired someone else.

But, since my mail has been held up for a month now, I was still holding out a tiny bit of hope. (That's an Obama voter for you!) Now, I am anxiously sitting in the living room, scoping out the street for the mail truck.

Not getting mail for a month does something to a person. In my case, it causes insanity.

Please get here soon mail carrier. I can't take it much longer!.

Need some advice?

The coolest/most annoying thing about having a law degree has to be that everyone seems to want free information about legal stuff. In the past week, I have given out a lot of information:

1) Explaining the ins and outs of lawyers' trust accounts to a law school buddy.

2) Explaining to my sister's neighbor (I guess he's my neighbor too now) that the judge in the case he is a juror for won't speak to him without all the parties there, and that a casual chat probably cannot occur while the case is at trial.

3) Chatting with the fiance's parents about grandpa's deterioration and the need to look into options for his finances, etc. since he now has had dementia episodes.

4) Telling an acquaintance that they may need to file a bankruptcy.

While this is cool, none of it is earning me any money. It does, however, make me feel smart and useful, which is just as good as money in my book. (Other than the fact that self-esteem doesn't pay for 4 new tires.)

Officially giving myself permission to freak out

I have had an issue with the post office not forwarding my mail since I moved in with my sister almost a month ago.

First they said that there was a processing error, and they noted the date to start forwarding the mail incorrectly. That was last Thursday. They told me they would send the mail this week.

It's now Friday, and no mail yet. I called yesterday and left a message for someone to call me about this.

The big problem? I have 3 different jobs that said they would make a decision by the end of the month. If they have rejected me already, I would sure like to know. If they haven't, I could still have a little hope that maybe the hiring process is a little delayed. I don't want to be a nag, and send them emails, only to find out that they hired others. This is quite a quandry.

I am going to give these employers until Tuesday (or until my forwarded mail arrives, whichever happens first). If I don't hear anything by then, I am going to contact them again.

I hate this stuff. I just need a job!

Had a life this weekend

This weekend, I splurged and actually left the house and spent a little of my dwindling cash supply. On Friday night, the fiance' and I went to play board games at a friends house.
Cost = $0

On Saturday, we were treated to a Packer game to celebrate the future father-in-law's retirement. Of course, mother-in-law told us to buy a bunch of snacks and stuff and then bought more anyway, wasting a bunch of money, but since the game was free (and super fun) I counted it as a wash.
Cost = $25.00

Sunday, I went to Zoo Ala Carte, which basically means walking around and looking at animals and eating. It was $10 to get in and I spent another $10 on food. Had a good time with a friend I haven't seen in a long time, so it was worth it.
Cost $20

Today, I went running errands with my sister, and didn't spend a thing, which is fortunate, since my money is running low. Tomorrow, I am using the old food stamps to get some groceries. We ate an eggplant frittata for dinner tonight that was my idea, but was poorly executed by my sister. She served french toast as a consolation food, but I just couldn't handle syrup at 6 pm. :)

Jobs jobs and more jobs

I just got an email that a non-profit I know is hiring in the town where I went to law school. The position is about 50% volunteer management and recruiting. This is the same thing I did with both my project assistant job in law school and in my volunteer work. I think I have a good chance of getting it. Keeping my fingers crossed.

There's no place like home and I don't have one

I moved in with my sister on August 1. Into her basement to be exact. Beforehand, I idealized what this would be like, imagining taking my little nephew to the zoo and museum and parks to play. I thought my sister and I would have heart-to-heart talks over tea in the morning. I thought that all my friends in my hometown would be lining up to hang out with me.

None of this has happened. Instead, I have spent quite a bit of time by myself, reading, organizing and surfing the internet. My sister and her husband's household is usually in a state of chaos. Keys get lost, checking accounts are not balanced, meals are unplanned - causing my sister to visit the grocery store about 4 times a week. I get lots of mini-lectures about:

turning off lights,
turning off the outside water (after I do my chore of watering the plants and lawn daily),
making sure water doesn't seep into the loose floor tile in the bathroom,
making sure I rinse my recyclables before putting them in the bin,
not turning on the dehumidifier in the basement unless my brother-in-law thinks it should be,
and on
and on
and on.

I haven't committed any of the above infractions, but my sis and her husband sure have. And I don't say a thing.

Not to sound ungrateful, because I am happy not to be homeless.

But I am not happy about being treated like a 15 year old, and I don't like that the family eats everything I buy from the store (with my much-needed foodstamps), even when they know I bought the stuff. I also just miss having my own home, A HOME.

There really is no place like it.

Keeping my head held high

I have been kicked in the teeth more than a few times this past couple weeks. Sometimes, it's hard to hold your head high when you feel like there is a 20 pound weight dangling from a rope around your neck.

To mitigate my lack of income, I am moving into my sister's house next week. And it doesn't feel very good to have to rely on my family for anything. I was always that independent kid, who moved out at 18 and never asked for a penny from my parents. When I needed to move, I even did that on my own, managing to heft a couch down two flights of stairs and get it into the moving van. It probably took me about 8 years longer to finish my education because I didn't ask for and didn't receive any help to pay for it. But I did it. I think that's why I am having such a hard time lately accepting help. The food stamps were one thing, but moving in to my sister's basement is quite another. It has to happen though, so I guess I should continue cracking jokes about it to make myself feel better.

The other fun thing this past week was finding that I didn't get a job when a classmate posted on her facebook status that she was the one selected for it. Ouch! To be honest though, I didn't feel the job was a good fit for my interests and skills. However, I just want a fucking job. Is that too much to ask? I am smart and a hard worker. I networked my ass off for months, and that's what you are supposed to do, right?

Looking at all this from a more positive perspective....I am very lucky to have a sister who will take me in, and enough money to put my stuff in storage for 2 months. Not getting that job hurt, but maybe that's the universe telling me it wasn't the right job for me. Also, I am fortunate that one of my best friends from law school is going through much of the same anxiety with me. Having someone to commiserate with makes a huge difference.

Lastly, a word to those who have applied to law school: don't even consider doing this unless you really love the law, don't mind a decrease in your self-esteem and are ready to stick to your ideals at the expense of your financial life. It's tough out there. Figure out why you want to do this. If it's because it's all you ever wanted, then go for it. If it's because you have a degree in English Lit and don't know what to do with yourself, you are in trouble.

If I didn't really care about access to justice and helping people get it (no matter what their income is) I think I would have died from the stress of law school and job hunting.

Food stamps

The joy of food stamps. Who knew I would be getting them after law school and feel so little shame about it. Just kinda sucks that it has to be this way, but until I get a job, I need to eat.

The amount of cash in my household is very very low. Looking forward to cashing in our "piggy bank" this week.

Sad.