Forecast: continued unemployment

The worst thing about the legal profession is that you can go on the state bar's website and see who got the jobs that you unsuccessfully interviewed for.  I really wish that this wasn't possible.  I would rather believe that the person who got the job I coveted was a superwoman (or man) who practically invented public interest law.  I don't like knowing that the winner of my job is an ordinary student, who is no more qualified than I am.  That means that I have to take a hard look at why I didn't get the job instead, and there are no easy answers to that question.

I am starting to think that I must be terrible at interviews.  During law school, I would get almost every job I interviewed for.  That streak was broken when I started looking for post-grad work.  Obviously, I am not selling myself very well at these things.  I just need to find out where I am going wrong.

Ugh.

Can I please just shut the hell up?

If I am not the one in charge, and the one in charge isn't doing a splendid job, why can't I just shut the hell up? I have no idea, but I really wish I could. It's not my fault that things might be a little screwed up, and I don't have to make sure that every damn thing I am involved in is just exactly perfect. Who the hell died and made me judge? No one, that's who. So I am just going to have to learn how to be a "member" of things, and not in charge of them.

I was the one who wanted to be more employee and less boss. Why is it so hard for me to get used to this?